I am With You Wherever You Go

A lot has happened over the last few months, both good things and tribulation. Trials are never fun to go through, but God has carried me through each bump in the road, showing his power and glory in ways I couldn’t have imagined. I am still in awe of how God protected not only my life recently, but also my husband’s, all of my dogs, and our home. He also worked a miracle in the life of a loved one of mine who wouldn’t be alive right now if God hadn’t shown mercy on him. I want to share with you just how good God is to encourage you that if you are also going through a trial, God will guide you through with a blessing in the end. I also want to show the world that I have proof there is a good God. Many want proof of a God (and I understand that), so I want to continue to share my testimony with you because I want you all to experience the joy and freedom I have in Christ. There is a sovereign God who cares deeply about you and wants a personal relationship with you. My God has promised me that he is with me wherever he goes (Deuteronomy 31:6) everyday for the last few months, and he honored his promise a few weeks ago on June 4th.

Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the Lord your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. Deuteronomy 31:6 NIV

If you are new to my blogs you may not know that I have an intense fear of uncontrolled fire, especially house fires. It goes back to when I was only two years old and saw on the news that halogen lamps were causing fires, the same halogen lamp that my parents had in their living room. It never bothered me having that lamp in our living room until my sister knocked it over one afternoon; as soon as it hit the ground I began screaming and crying because I thought our house was going to go up in flames. My mom tried to comfort me, but it took a long time and for months I refused to go near the lamp. That anxiety has followed me through my adulthood, and my roommate having a small grease fire when I was out of town with my dog triggered an unhealthy response. I finally began seeing a therapist after I realized I couldn’t sleep at night without having dreams that my late dog Luke and I were burning alive. Every night I unplugged everything in my room, kept my phone across the room, and constantly worried I’d lose my dog to a house fire when I wasn’t home. It was scary, but I have come a long way, even to the point where I am now working on opening my own candle business early next year. I had fully conquered my fear, so I never thought I would actually have to confront it, until I did. You know how the saying goes, “that would never happen to me”.

Sunday June 4th was a normal day; we took the dogs for a walk at the park, I cooked delicious tacos, and I went for a swim. That evening I went to put chicken wire up in parts of my garden because my bird friends kept eating my Zinnia seedlings and talked to my neighbor while I tended my garden. My dogs waited inside because they knew it was almost their dinner time. Everything still seemed normal until I noticed all four of the dogs were at the back door and not just Mikki, and they all began to bark. What really was odd was that Coco began frantically pawing at the door. I just figured they were hungry so I went back inside to feed the dogs. When I went to feed them, I was still unaware of what was brewing in my basement downstairs. However, I did find it strange that they left their bowls so quickly and surrounded me. Here is where I began to realize that God was at work and already protecting me. I was going to take a shower and decided I needed to get a night gown from the dryer downstairs. I almost decided not to go downstairs, but something told me to (God). Not even halfway down the stairs I noticed a very awful odor and when I entered the basement there was smoke everywhere. Terrified, I ran upstairs to alert my husband and to round up the dogs. The wonderful thing about my brain is that I don’t freeze when in danger, rather, my anxiety takes a back seat and I quickly act. In less than five minutes I had the dogs out the house in the car, hubby on the phone to the fire department, and each of my neighbors out of their houses too.

Reality didn’t set in until the firetrucks arrived. Tears rolled down my eyes as I called my mom, and I felt numb when the firefighters came back outside after a few minutes to notify me that they still hasn’t found the source of the smoke. I thought for sure we were going to lose everything, and I didn’t even know what to think, so I just prayed. God sent a nice woman from across my street to comfort us, along with my neighbor, which helped ease the panic attack that had begun. Oh and I forgot to mention that when I let the dogs out of the car to potty, Coco escaped her harness. Coco is an escape artist, but the Lord made sure she obeyed me so that I could keep her safe. I couldn’t have imagined having a house fire and having one of my precious babies on the loose. After what seemed like an eternity, the fire fighter began leaving so I went to my husband to figure out what had happened and was shocked when he told me. “There was a sump pump fire, but everything was contained to the hole”. Relief washed over me hearing that everything was going to be okay, but I still don’t think it really hit me what all had happened until the next day. Exhausted, we went back inside our home and were tasked with removing the awful electrical smoke smell. Thankfully one of my neighbors lent us a high powered fan to help pull the air out.

The next day the adrenaline rush left and it really dawned on me that God had protected me from my biggest fear. He kept his promise that he would protect me wherever I go, including my family. What are the odds that a fire causes no damage aside from the appliance? My basement smoke detector failed and my upstairs ones didn’t go off either. God used my dogs to get my attention, and now I see that it wasn’t just because they were hungry, it was because they knew something wasn’t right. God told me to go into the basement at the right timing; too soon and I would have been in the shower while the fire began and too late and my house would be gone. He kept me calm and held me in the palm of his hand. His faithfulness and love is amazing. He knows how scared I am of losing all of my fur babies to a fire, so he made sure that didn’t happen because of his love for me. I am in awe of how much he loves us. I will never forget the day the Lord saved my household from death and destruction. His protection over my home reminds me of how he will keep us safe from the hour of tribulation that comes for those that do not know him. It also reminds me of how his salvation is what keeps us from the death and destruction we deserve because of our own rebellion. God sent his only son as a sacrifice so that he could restore relationship with us (as God cannot be a part of sin). It is truly amazing.

This past week, God once again did a miracle in my life. My mother and I recently felt led by the Holy Spirit to pray against disease and illness, especially stroke, for a specific family member. We prayed daily that God would protect his life and that no harm would come upon him. At first we weren’t sure why we were told to pray, but we did anyways. Now we know it was because the health of that loved one was going south and the Lord knew what was coming, as our bodies fail us in this life. The miracle is in how God worked throughout the entire situation. My loved one drove himself to the ER about a week ago and was immediately admitted. They found that he had a mini stroke and also has had fluid around his heart. His blood pressure was so high, it was honestly amazing that he is still breathing. Doctors have commented on how astonished they are that he isn’t in a coma right now. They said they’ve never seen anyone have so little damage from his stroke. In fact, they believe that all of it is reversible. God heard and answered our prayers! He didn’t let our loved one die or end up debilitated. What is even more amazing and perhaps the reason this all happened in the first place is that my loved one said God told him to go to the ER when he did, and he has begun to realize just how important it is to be close to God. I believe that through this situation he will accept Jesus as Lord if he hasn’t already, and/or he will turn back to Jesus and that is something worth celebrating over!

Like I said in the beginning, there was been both good and bad, but the bad has turned into good. Two weeks after my house fire, I had to go to court because I missed one final payment on a credit card by accident, and was being sued. It was not a fun experience and embarrassing quite frankly. The only reason I share is because despite owning extra money for that mistake, God is providing a way for us to pay it off, and then that means less debt. This year alone we have slashed our credit card debt in half, which has been such a blessing. I also had a falling out with my best friend two hours before my 30th birthday and have not heard from her since. I miss her dearly, and I continually pray that she will talk to me again. It is a complicated situation, where I can honestly say I didn’t do anything wrong. However, I am willing to humble myself to figure out her point of view and restore the relationship because she matters to me. I am concerned for her well being, as she has a lot of stressors in life right now which I believe led to this conflict. Normally in this type of situation I would begin hating myself, and perhaps even have self harm thoughts. But over the last years I have learned to better cope with conflict, as a recovering people pleaser, and I have learned to love myself more. I believe it won’t be much longer before things are back to normal, but in the meantime, the Lord has surrounded me with a lot of friends, and it has been a blessing knowing I am not alone.

Before I conclude this post, I wanted to share some wonderful things that are happening in our life! First, my brother in law and his fiance are expecting a baby girl next month; I am getting my first niece! Robbie and I are very excited and plan on being the cool auntie and uncle. Also, hubby is going to be training soon for a supervisor role at his current job. Oh and we just got back from a much needed, fun vacation. We went to see his grandma (who is 94 and very healthy) for a few days and also explored Charleston, SC for the first time. I was a blast! We took all four dogs with us and they even got to ride on the boat. The city is breath taking; the houses are historical and remind me a bit of Italy, with the ocean as their backdrop. The town is full of history and beauty; we will definitely be back.

Psalm 23 applies perfectly to my life right now. God has led me beside beautiful waters (of Charleston). He has guided me through each thing and even when I walked through the valley of evil (the fire, debt collectors, sick family, conflict), I did not fear because he was right there with me. God will continue to bless me and my cup with overflow with joy. He has already proven that his goodness and mercy will follow me all days of my life. I am so grateful. I hope that this blog encourages you and if you aren’t a believer, you can become one right now. Just ask Jesus to be your savior and admit that you are a sinner and need saving. Just like that, your life will change and you will be blessed, both now and in heaven. Take care!

The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not want. He makes me lie down in green pastures.
He leads me beside still waters. He restores my soul. He leads me in paths of righteousness for his name’s sake. Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me. You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies; you anoint my head with oil; my cup overflows. Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life, and I shall dwell in the house of the Lord forever. Psalm 23 ESV