Here’s to 30!

Hello everyone I hope you are doing well. I am doing great now that I am all better after catching Covid-19 for the second time. It was brutal because it came on suddenly. One minute I was fine with just a sore throat and then the next minute I was shaking in bed, feeling as if I were going to take my last breath as my temperature continue to climb to nearly 104 degrees. I was afraid that I was going to miss seeing one of my best friends for my 30th birthday, but thankfully God blessed me by making covid last only a week for me this time instead of the six weeks I had it last time. Don’t worry, I waited the entire 10 days of quarantine before this trip. God always plans everything down to the smallest details, so despite getting awful covid, he made sure it wouldn’t interfere with my celebration. Not only that, God has protected my husband and I from a lot lately. There were a few times that I wondered why I got a migraine at a specific time, or why my husband wasn’t ready to take me to work yet on his day off, just to find out that there were severe crashes along our route that could have been us. I wonder how many things God has kept us all from because of his protection over those who love him. I know first hand he has kept us safe from several car accidents and that he spared my mom and I’s lives several years ago (you can find more details on the blog “Too Blessed to Not Believe”). I can’t wait for all of us to see just how much danger God has kept from us when we get to Heaven one day soon. He is so amazing and deserves all the glory.

I truly believe that even catching Covid was allowed by God. Of course, I wonder why, but I trust that God only has good for me so I know there was a reason. Jeremiah 29:11 has become one of my favorite Bible verses because it is my constant reminder that God only has good for us and a purpose for each of us. None of us are worthless or insignificant. I used to struggle with my self esteem because of bullies in middle school and toxic people in my life who always criticized me. Ten years ago I thought that I deserved some of the bad treatment that I got from people and I had a tendency to base my worth on what people thought of me instead of what God thought of me. If someone said something mean to me, I took it to heart and wanted desperately to change their opinion of me. But over the course of my twenties up until now, I have become confident in who I am and more important, who I am in Christ. If someone doesn’t like me now, I realize it is something about them and not me, and I keep going. I never thought I would be so content with where I am in life and with being me. Nonetheless I am grateful for this growth and I hope it encourages you if you still struggle with self worth because if I can overcome my biggest struggle, than so can you. You won’t experience life to it’s fullest nor will you experience all God has to you if you let others control you and your emotions. It doesn’t happen overnight, but just taking baby steps and setting boundaries eventually turns into you loving yourself exactly how God made you: perfect and precious in his sight.

I really can’t believe that I will be 30 in a few days because honestly it feels like I just graduated with my undergrad degree. It feels like I’ve been married two years instead of almost seven. There have been a lot of challenges I’ve faced over these 10 years, as well as a lot of amazing moments. My college years were like a dream because Ohio University and Athens, Ohio is such a wonderful place to grow as a person. There is nothing like that friendly small town. The professors are funny, wise, knowledgeable, and love their students. The old brick buildings are fascinating because they preserve the history of being the first university in Ohio. The bricks become a part of each Bobcat personality because they lead us to education, fun with friends that last a lifetime, late night studying, first jobs, and the transition from a teenager to a well rounded adult. The rolling hills and numerous trees showcase God’s talented artistry. Each season is gorgeous, but there is no season like Fall in Athens. I met some of my best friends at OU, including my husband. I learned how to be independent and become who I was meant to be. I learned more about the world around us and other cultures. I had my first job outside of home health care and also got supervisor experience while working at the campus library. If it weren’t for that library job, I would have never met my other half. I am still friends with all of the librarians I worked with.

College I learned how to navigate scary moments too such as dealing with a stalker ex boyfriend, and the heartbreak that came with thinking that I was in love with someone great, just to find out it was all a façade. Thankfully there were many more good moments than bad. In between classes and work, I had so much fun with my girls. Everything from prank calls, movies and sleepovers, and catching fire flies spring quarter of freshman year of college to having our first apartments and finally being 21 our junior and senior years. After college getting married to Robbie was literally a dream come true! One of the best days of my life was saying I do to him overlooking a gazebo and creek. That day was perfect. I was surrounding by my closest friends, some wearing my favorite shade of sky blue standing by my side, and others supporting me from their seats during the ceremony. I knew my future was going to be bright from the moment I graduated college and then went on to grad school. I also knew that I was starting the adventure of a lifetime when I became one with my soulmate. My life hasn’t been anything like what I dreamed it would be, but it has been full of blessings and I look forward to many more as I embark this next chapter of my life.

Recently I started going through a lot of my old high school photos, full of nostalgia. Those were the moments that I first started discovering who I was before I reached my full potential in college. As I look back on my life up until this point, I am incredibly thankful and blessed that I am still friends with most of my close high school friends too. Not a lot of people can say that they have good friends from both high school and college, so I cherish them all. One of my favorite pictures of high school is from my 15th birthday party. It was epic as my mom let me have a pool party at a hotel and then have a few friends stay the night. It was beach themed and each guest got a goodie bag and a towel as a souvenir. I wore this coral bikini that I got just for my birthday and a cute tiara. I was also surprised when my first crush showed up. He made it extra special and I know that even though we haven’t been on good terms for years, he still thinks of the memories we had together from time to time and smiles. At one point, he was one of my best friends. Crazy how much life changes because one of my best friends from elementary and middle school was like my big brother throughout high school until one day he wasn’t. Some people are meant for seasons and some are meant for life.

All of my high school birthdays were fun because my mom let me have hotel birthdays for all four of them. My sweet 16 was at Fort Rapids, an old indoor waterpark near my hometown. I still remember going down that big bowl slide and feeling like I was on top of the world because I had so many fun people to share my day with. How was that almost fourteen years ago?! So many fun moments growing up. Some of my other favorite memories were going to the mall each weekend with my girls and getting pizza (or five guys for Katie and Pot Belly for Autumn). We would eat our food on the second floor overlooking all the people walking below. We took so many pictures with all of the furniture at Macys and trying on all of the dresses haha. I also loved when I went on a college visit trip with the youth group to Boston Baptist college with Vikki and Katie. Boston was such a cool town, despite being freezing cold. Oh and I can’t forget all of the summer pool memories. Or that time I got to see Barlow Girl at my dad’s friend’s church with Vikki. Too many good memories to count, just like college. I am only focusing on the good times rather than any bad, because when we look back on life those are the moments that truly matter.

I was perfectly healthy when I began college and when I graduated undergrad. It was halfway through grad school that my chronic illnesses crept in. I thought by 30 that I would have my dream career and have a family already. I was certain that I would have it all together by now, but I was wrong. I still don’t know what my life will look like in another 10 years, but I do know what my goals are and what I am working toward. Before the year is over, I will have my first of many books published. I also will open my small business either by the end of this year or at the beginning of next year. I will continue to be a loving wife, friend, daughter, sister, niece, granddaughter, daughter in law, and dog mom. Who knows, maybe one of these days I will welcome human babies into the world too. What I do know is that I want to start my thirties off the right way by making a habit of surrendering to God more and dying to myself. I want his will to be done in my life and not my own will. I believe that my thirties have a lot of awesome things in store.

For my thirties, I want to learn a few new hobbies together with my husband. I also want to continue to travel each year, perhaps even eventually making my way to Sweden to see a high school friend and meet another online friend who lives there. I want to use my degrees, even if in unconventional ways. I want to live more in the present and enjoy each moment because tomorrow isn’t promised. I want to continue growing and becoming the best version of myself. I want to live life to the fullest even more than I did in my twenties. I also have the goal of becoming debt free. God has already blessed me with as of the end of this month having almost half of my credit card debt paid off. I know I can keep it up and develop better financial habits. I have dreams of owning more Pomeranians, eventually perhaps a golden retriever one day down the road when Mikki retires from being my service dog. If you know me, you know I have an entire list of favorite dog breeds.

I don’t know what is in store. But I do know that it is going to be amazing. I am going to cling to the truth that God has great things for me and I am going to trust him no matter what comes my way.

For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Jeremiah 29:11 NIV

Below are some pictures from high school, college, and wedding ❤